Sunday, July 10, 2005
Alternatives that could bury the funeral industry (har!)
Since the release of Jessica Mitford's blistering expose on the funeral industry, The American Way of Death in 1963, both laws and practices have slowly been changing in our country.
Now some families are even caring for their loved ones completely on their own at home. As this NPR interview indicates, it can be very comforting for a family member to see to their own in this way.
"This is a continuation of a caring process, of a living being. And a good kid. And it, um, it, it, it didn't feel just like a taking care of death thing. It was a -- it was also a continuation of life."Not surprisingly, though taking care of your own dead is not illegal, families often experience a great deal of opposition from local funeral directors.
"He told us that it was completely illegal to bury a body without a funeral director. And that we had to have a hearse, and that we had to have somebody view the body to make sure that there was actually a body. And he would be the provider of the burial certificate. And that for that, he would charge us $1,900." It got worse when she called the state board of funeral directors in Massachusetts. The chairman, who owned 14 funeral homes, threatened to report her. But to whom? What Berman was doing was legal. And in the end, the local funeral director backed off.There are many companies springing up on the internet to help supply the growing desire to handle more of the details of a funeral from home. You can get a casket at Costco (they really DO have everything), or even a build your own.
A company called Casket Furniture (motto: Why buy a casket for just one day?) offers many attractive caskets that double as home furnishings until the bell tolls for you. I'm not sure I like this idea, though. If I die, my family will not only lose a wife and mother, but also their couch.
Mary Roach's book Stiff, The Curious Life of Human Cadavers outlines several alternatives which allow you to skip the burial process altogether if you like, including donation to science, and becoming a traveling art exhibit.
No one really knows when their time will be up, so if you're interested, you might want to check out these alternatives before YOU check out.
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My father once called to tell me that he had done a great real estate transaction for me.
Was so disapointed when I answered "oh you bought me a funeral plot. How, uh, weird, I mean lovely."
had to one up me with:
"no I bought you two."
Was so disapointed when I answered "oh you bought me a funeral plot. How, uh, weird, I mean lovely."
had to one up me with:
"no I bought you two."
# posted by 
: 2:02 PM
: 2:02 PM
That's too funny about loosing the wife & couch. I have to wonder which DH would feel the most broken up over?
'course I don't want a casket or a plot. DH thinks I'm weird. He's got a free plot from the US though. But the requirements to be put there are not gonna be cheap. I'm debating on whether I should tell him about the embalming process or not.
On our trip to MI we saw DH's grandparents plots. One set has a family plot where Mom & Dad are on one side and DD & SIL are on the other side...then Aunt C is to the left of Mom. Unfortunately we didn't find G-Grands stones (they're supposed to be there too.) I wonder who all is with them.
'course I don't want a casket or a plot. DH thinks I'm weird. He's got a free plot from the US though. But the requirements to be put there are not gonna be cheap. I'm debating on whether I should tell him about the embalming process or not.
On our trip to MI we saw DH's grandparents plots. One set has a family plot where Mom & Dad are on one side and DD & SIL are on the other side...then Aunt C is to the left of Mom. Unfortunately we didn't find G-Grands stones (they're supposed to be there too.) I wonder who all is with them.
Guess this is something that should have the foot work finished before the check out date. - I know my wifey-poo would hate me if I set it up for her to build a casket around my body. maybe I could get one of the guys at church to do it for her. Have to set that up in advance too.
It is actually illegal in some states to bury without certain conditions due to the water line and contamination, Depends where it is; believe me dead bodies all over the place without sealed vaults in some parts of the country could probably cause a mini plague. People should plan their funeral ahead though. it would be cheaper as they could do it traditionally or shop around and do it themselves. Many funeral homes allow this, the private funeral homes here encourage it , not the funeral homes owned by the big corporations. In Europe people plan their funerals way ahead; they seem more willing there to accept death as part of life.
I recently saw a tv show on Tibet where they cut your body up and feed you to the vultures so your body can fly to heaven. No burial plot necessary. They had one guy who would do the cutting and feeding, the vultures knew what was up so they came for dinner. I guess you could ask Sam he butcher from the grocery store to come and do the honors.
It is amazing the times that people get taken advantage of. We learned quite a bit when my mother died, but good grief I find your post even more enlightning.
You've read Jessical Mitford? I'm surprised! Not a name you see bandied about on the bloglists very often! She also wrote The American Way of Birth, which is also enlightening.
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
Julie, wouldn't it be cool if there was a CRADLE/hope chest/casket? Then you'd be set!
Pia, wow, that's pretty wild.
Renee, does that mean you can't be buried with him?
Prying, yes I assume you build the casket well ahead of time. That would be a LOT for a grieving widow :-o
Alice, I think you have to be sure about the actual burial laws, but the preparation of the body is up for grabs. I did wonder how an autopsy fit in, many states require them for lots of circumstances. I guess you'd get it back after?
Drizzle, I wondered how many of them actually sold, too.
Bill, that's really neat! I dare you to ask your local butcher to help you cut up a body to aid in the ease of its disposal! Tell me what they say? ;-)
Mad Perseid, ooh mummification! That would be interesting to do at home. "Sorry Aunt Nelly, you can't come to visit, Grandpa's occupying the guest room for the next 40 days..." Hee hee!
Katy, it's really awful how people take advantage of grief.
Illyria, I hadn't seen that one. I'll have to check it out. I picked up Way of Death after reading a snippet of it in a college composition clasee, they had different examples of writing in the textbook and it was fascinating!
Pia, wow, that's pretty wild.
Renee, does that mean you can't be buried with him?
Prying, yes I assume you build the casket well ahead of time. That would be a LOT for a grieving widow :-o
Alice, I think you have to be sure about the actual burial laws, but the preparation of the body is up for grabs. I did wonder how an autopsy fit in, many states require them for lots of circumstances. I guess you'd get it back after?
Drizzle, I wondered how many of them actually sold, too.
Bill, that's really neat! I dare you to ask your local butcher to help you cut up a body to aid in the ease of its disposal! Tell me what they say? ;-)
Mad Perseid, ooh mummification! That would be interesting to do at home. "Sorry Aunt Nelly, you can't come to visit, Grandpa's occupying the guest room for the next 40 days..." Hee hee!
Katy, it's really awful how people take advantage of grief.
Illyria, I hadn't seen that one. I'll have to check it out. I picked up Way of Death after reading a snippet of it in a college composition clasee, they had different examples of writing in the textbook and it was fascinating!
Jen, No I can be put in his plot... I just don't want to be there. I've never wanted to be in a plot. I've got this thing about not wasting valuable real estate with my rotting body...of course dh is already taking up the space and they stack the bodies there, but I digress. I think I would much rather be tree food than stuffed into a "rot proof" box. And I don't think the VA cemetery will think too kindly of a tree being planted on top of "our" plot.
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