New Jen's Horde

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

My brain hurts.

Just so you understand where this story starts, Tiernan turned 4 in October and is still in diapers. We try the potty from time to time, but he doesn't seem to "get" the poo thing, so here we are.

Today, I asked him to get a diaper so we could change him. He turned over one of his cars under the bridge of my sewing machine, and pushed the diaper to me slowly on the upturned wheels while making a "zh...zh...zh...zh" sound. He then exclaimed that it was the "Diaper Printer."

Can someone explain why he can invent an entire pretend machine that mimics one of our computer accessories, yet he still poops in his pants? Where is the logic in that?

It's not about logic, it's probably about control. At least, it was for a couple of ours. My hat's off to you for being able to still change those diapers! Whew!
My SIL & Bro are thinking that they want my Nephew to be trained and he's not 2 yet. Ha ha ha ha!

I think it's about not stopping to do it. Oh! I'm busy playing but I really need to go... I'll just go here and get cleaned up later.

I think that the trick would be to figure out how to make it uncomfortable for them so they wouldn't want to be there with it in their pants... feed them tacks or something? jk

Of course explaining that it is so much faster to go and get cleaned up at the tolite than to go through the diaper change would seem like the trick, but just doesn't seem to work on boys I'm told.

BTW: this theory comes from my babysitting experience. Boy would rather ride bike down hill over & over than to stop to poo... guess who got stuck cleaning up that HUGE mess... blech! (I dispise cleaning some other kid's butt!)
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Ahhh.. he'll get it. I bet he "gets it" now, but still prefers to do things the way he always has.

Anyway, no advice, just sympathy.
I feel your pain. My son will be 4 in May and still no interest in the potty. I'm hoping by 4 he'll be ready, but I'm not holding my breath.
Jana: Should you be holding your breath from the smell? ;)
My girls were also like that at 4. It is very frustrating. I feeeel your pain!
My sympathies to you. Have you tried those new big boy (and big girl) pull ups? That's how my girls made the transition from diapers to underwear.
I'm trying to make it all his responsibility, by making him stop what he's doing and go and get the diapers and wipes and throw away the dirty diapers, etc. I don't do it in a shaming way, just really matter of fact. I know it will be soon, but MAN this is making me CRAZY!
We're on potty hiatus here too. When I mention it my guy says "no, thats ok, I go in my pants." hrmph.
He's a smart kid, and I think this problem is one he would like control over as well. I'm sure you've asked the doc about it. It sounds like maybe his body is slow in mastering control of his muscles.
I am so glad you are not making him feel ashamed.
I had a friend who used to ridicule her son in front of me for having accidents. I told her to knock it off! That poor kid was traumatized NOT by his lack of potty control, but my his mother's disdain.
I think you are wise to put responsibility on him to change the diapers and clean himself up. I'm sure when he is able, he will be potty trained and be just as relieved about it all as you are.
I don't feel so alone. My daughter Emily is almost 3 1/2 and she still wants to wear her Pullups. She's done both in the potty and she knows what to do but just absolutely refuses. She'd rather just sit in it than go to the potty herself. I think that both of ours will do it eventually and they won't go to college in diapers.
It took a while for my son as well...but he not quite 4. His dad spent several Saturdays working with him, but the pooing in the potty didn't come till later. What finally worked was me talking to him about how his poop loves to go swimming. They need his help to get out of his butt so they can swim with their poop friends in the toilet bowl pool. Then the poop loves to go down the little water slide. Since my son loves to swim, he thought he would help out the little poops! He hasn't had an accident yet!!!
Boys take awhile as they have a problem associating the difference in feelings that occur down there. My son, for instance, was around 4ish when he was fully potty trained during the day, the night, forget it. When we started reminding him that if he felt he had to use the potty, to go, don't even ask, it clicked. Sometimes pull-ups work, sometimes they don't.

I need to disagree with some of the comments about "control", it has nothing to do with that. 4 year olds are very focused on what they are doing, irrespective of their need to use the potty. If you find a way to intercept their focus and remind them that if they need to use the potty to use the potty, they'll suddenly remember, "hey, I gotta use the potty."

Reward good potty behavior, but do not punish bad potty behavior. If he forgets, remind him that he'll be in diapers/pull-ups forever. If he remembers, praise him for doing good. Just never use negative praise.

It all works out in the end. Or, he could be like my daughter who, when even a droplet exists, "I gotta use the potty daddy!" Oh well, at least she's doing it (she self-trained at 3).
I...can't...type...I'm laughing too hard. Sorry! What they will come up with sometimes. My mom always said, "They won't go to kindergarten with diapers on and if they do the first day, they won't the second." I know you are a homeschooler, but he probably has playdates and eventually, I think that peer pressure will kick in.
Well, he's a genius. No one said it was always practical.

He cracks me up. And...well, he won't go to college in diapers. He'll get it, and when he does, it will be quick.
The times he's gone naked and had mistakes he's been genuinely distressed, so I don't think it's a control issue with him, ie I don't think he's "playing" me. And, since I make him stop what he's doing to get the diapers and throw the dirties away it's no less time intensive for him to use diapers.

He really just doesn't seem to know the poop train is on it's way until it's arrived at diaper (or carpet) station. So, I think you all are right, maybe it's just a different form of intelligence and maturity he's showing in these two instances...

Thanks for all of your feedback, it's good to know I'm not alone. I do joke around that it will end up being his WIFE who potty trains him!
Your daughter in law is not going to thank you for that one LOL

BTW I have a 48 hour "casting call" on my blog if you want to take part :) I know you enjoyed it last time :)
That's a smart boy you got there!! He will probably grow up to be president!

BTW... Wendy directed me here!
May your boy's wife never have to help with that LOL (unless you don't like her).

"Wendy directed me here today" (get it !)
Hey there,

I was having the same problem with my 3 year old. I made him take off his pants at the potty and then sat him on it. After cleaning up, I made him choose what to put on (underwear or diapers) and then he had to put them on by himself. After trying to put on the diapers solo he eventually went for the undies...

Now if he will only stop going #1 in them! OY!
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