New Jen's Horde

Monday, February 20, 2006

Monday Memories #2-Our Marriage of Convenience


Monday Memories: Did I ever tell you about

The year was 1992, and I was in my junior year of college. I'd been dating Davin for a little over 2 years, and we'd talked about getting married, and even planned a wedding once, but hadn't actually done it. I was 21, he was 22.

Looking back, it seems foolish not to have snapped him up and married him as soon as possible, but like everyone else in the known universe, we were both from broken homes, and we were awfully young. I think we just worried that, even though we loved each other and wanted to be together, we weren't seeing enough of the big picture to make that kind of decision without regretting it later.

Late in January, I called my dad begging for money (the WAS college, you know) and he said, after promising to send a check, "You know, Jennifer, if you and Davin would just get married, you'd get a lot more in financial aid and you wouldn't be hitting me up all the time." You have to know my dad to know that this was just something quirky he'd say, not meant to be hurtful, just sort of funny.

**At the time, I don't know if it's true now, you couldn't be considered independent of your parents for finacial aid purposes unless you'd lived on your own and made $x per year before you entered college the first time, or you were over a certain age (I think it was 25), or you were married. So, since we went straight to college from high school, we were getting financial aid based on all of our parents' household incomes, but most of them weren't really helping us out in any way, so we were really living pretty rock bottom.**

So, I was telling Davin that my dad came through with the money, oh, and by the way he thinks we should get married for the financial aid. We both had a good laugh, but then we decided to go ahead and do it.

We really did want to be together, we just didn't know how to decide if we should get married. I think, as stupid as it sounds, the financial aid argument was the last little push we needed. Like many students, we planned a March wedding to coincide with Spring Break, and next month we will be celebrating our 14th anniversary. Since the financial aid well dried up quite a few years ago, I'm thinking we're still going strong because we were actually meant to be together!

I love you, Davin! Wow, can you believe it's been 14 years...and we're still paying those damn student loans?

Links to other Monday Memories
Rowan *~* Shelli *~* Courtney *~* Kdubs *~* Norma *~* Lynda *~* Ladybug *~* Kimmy *~* Renee

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What a raving success it's been, judging by the cuties at the top of the page! Does your dad take credit for getting you married?!
That's a good one. I understand about the hesitance surrounding marriage. So many of us were dragged around from one part of the family to another. That's part of why I never married Maya's dad. I'm glad you guys were meant to be.

Holymama!-My dad takes credit for EVERYTHING, except us all needing tubes. That he says is because my mom and step mom must both have bad ears. He maintained this even after his own dad got tubes, then it was just a crazy coincidence. Dad's got no self-esteem problems, that's why we love him :-)

Rowan, we actually considered never getting married, just being together without the benefit of the ceremony. There didn't seem to be a point to it at the time. It seems like a lot of folks my age don't get married, even when they are in long term partnerships, for the same reasons you mention...
Ahhh.... Jen. I love your marriage of convenience story. It obviously was a match made in heaven!
Well, I'd say it was meant to last. How wonderful that you've been married nearly 14 years now. I was fortunate that my parents stay married, and are still together. I have friends who came from broken homes, and I know that it can make you gun shy about taking the marital plunge. Your dad said just the right thing at just the right time.
LOL that's great! My dh & I also got married when I was 21 and we both were still in college. I remember telling some of the other people I was in a group project with that I wouldn't be there on Monday because I was getting married that weekend, and they laughed (thinking I was kidding and making a funny excuse). When they realized I was serious they thought I was crazy for having my wedding during the school year. (It was October). But oh well, it worked fine for us. lol
LOL. My parents weren't from a broken home, but my husband's parents got divorce after 29 years of marriage about 2 months before my husband and I got married.

Great post!
Oh, and thanks for linking me!
What a great story though!

Mike and I had one of those, but it was more of a "I can't live without you...but if we live together without the benefit of marriage our parents will kill us" type of moments...LOL
That's quite a story. It worked the reverse for me. When I got married (still a student) I became an instant out of state resident, because my husband was. I'm glad it all worked out for you.
I flippin' love this story! LOL!!!!

You are such a hoot! We got married because we were afraid that we'd break up. Go figure.
That is an awesome story. You just needed the little push, I guess.

Thanks for linking me and you are linked up, too.
Well that was a memory that I didn't know.
And like everyone says, it must have been meant to be...well at least everytime I see y'all you all look happy. :D
Happy anniversary next month!
It doesn't matter how it came about. The important thing is that you found eachother.

BTW I remember those lean college days too. The macaroni & cheese days ;-)
You got married durning spring break?! How cute!!!
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