10 years later, the real story behind Columbine

They weren't goths or loners.

The two teenagers who killed 13 people and themselves at suburban Denver's Columbine High School 10 years ago next week weren't in the "Trenchcoat Mafia," disaffected videogamers who wore cowboy dusters. The killings ignited a national debate over bullying, but the record now shows Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold hadn't been bullied - in fact, they had bragged in diaries about picking on freshmen and "fags."

Over the years, a lot of people have asked me if I homeschool because of the attack at Columbine, and other school shootings. The answer is not that simple. We'd been considering homeschooling since before we even had any kids, but I have to admit that this event was a factor in our decision.

When Columbine happened, Anya was 4 and Maya and Sage were 2. I watched the news all through the day, just not believing. This was happening right here in town, in a "good" school, in the district both Davin and I had graduated from.

(To make things weirder, I'd also attended the middle school right next door to Platte Canyon High School, so I turned on the TV not long ago and saw another school related to me being evacuated.)

Of all the horrible things that happened the day of the Columbine shootings, the one that pierced me the most was seeing all the parents waiting outside the school looking for their child throughout the day. The police were releasing the kids in waves, and as each group came out there would be a spate of happy reunions, then those parents would scoop up their kids and leave. Everyone else would wait for the next wave, hoping.

Late in the day, they said that no more kids would be coming out. All of the parents still standing outside KNEW there was no hope, and that there was nothing left to do but go home. Without their children.

That was the thought that nearly killed me. I couldn't imagine how it must feel to know your baby was not only dead, but had died afraid and confused, and you couldn't be there even after the fact.

As I said, I had already been thinking about homeschooling by then; Columbine merely helped me make up my mind.

I know that school shootings are mercifully rare. Besides, people get mowed down at McDonald's, which puts my family in grave danger (if the food doesn't kill us first!) My kids could be involved in a violent encounter anywhere, it doesn't have to be in a school.

But, I think that since I'm with my kids a far larger percentage of the time than if they were in school, we'd most likely face any danger together. Davin and I wouldn't be with those scared, hurting parents standing outside the building, wondering if our kids were coming out or not. That, among a million other blessings, make all the sacrifices involved with homeschooling worth it for me.

Labels: crime, homeschooling, newsworthy