But we're getting rid of them anyway...

If you've been reading my blog a while, you may recall that I'm an idiot and I actually paid money for cockroaches. Granted, they were Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches, but they're roaches all the same. We put them in a small tank on a shelf above the kitchen sink. They are pretty easy pets, they don't demand much. They poop a lot, (we call them the "CaCa-roaches") but they don't smell and they are kind of interesting. I never liked them, but they weren't my job to care for, so I let them co-exist with me even though they gave me the willies.

We were very careful to choose two of the same gender, and when the girls (which my children named "Cock" and "Roach") passed the 60 day point in which they could have come to us pregnant and had more, we heaved a small sigh of relief.

So, yesterday, after we'd owned them for over 4 months, when Davin saw a funky little "beetle" on the kitchen counter, he didn't think anything of it. He just disposed of it and went on with his day. That is, until a few hours later when he went to clean out the tank and found a zillion little baby CaCa-roaches, all fully capable of sliding through the airholes in the lid of the tank. Insert violent shudder with gagging and standing on chair here. Luckily it's too cold and dry here for them to survive outside the tank, so we won't get infested, but that means precious little when you're disinfecting your kitchen and looking everywhere for other escapees (so far no sign.)

We are unsure as to how this miracle occurred. Perhaps they are like some other insects and can harbor sperm for looooooong periods of time? Maybe one of them wasn't a girl? I suppose it's possible the Holy Cockroach Spirit visited one of them. I don't care. We've wrapped the entire tank and put it out with the trash. The dump has the heat, moisture and food they need to survive, so we're not actually killing them, are we? It's called "plausible deniability."

If you hear in a few months that the landfill outside Denver is overrun with foreign cockroaches, forget you read this.