New Jen's Horde

Monday, February 16, 2009

Still here!

Sorry, I've been here but not really HERE. I know. I've missed you, too.

My computer died, and that took a lot of my computer time away, because I needed to share the rickety old last-millennium desktop with the kids. That just about sucks all the joy out of surfing. My lovely laptop is back now, and my online life is getting back to normal.

This last week, I've watched a close friend hit some problems. Many people are trying to help her, but I'm coming to terms with the idea that she doesn't necessarily want to get better, and any effort we put in is essentially wasted at this point. How do you know when to stop trying to take care of someone who's unwilling to take care of herself?

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I know this is hard. I've had to just separate myself from friends because there just wasn't anything I was getting in return for the relationship. I know it seems very selfish and I know you know that you need to think of your family first. Please don't allow yourself to feel guilty about this.
If the person doesn't want to be helped, you are only wasting time in trying. The individual has to want to get better before anything you do or say is going to help.
You are a good person for wanting to help and for trying to help, but once you know they don't want to help themselves, the only thing you can do is back off and wait for them to come to their senses..
Thanks, you guys are right. How frustrating, though!
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