You know how I had that horrible gum graft here recently?

That was a vile and unpleasant experience. And, to make it worse, for only a little more money I probably could have just had my whole body rebuilt to make me better, stronger, faster. It seems redundant that I should be in such pain *AND* have to pay a whole bunch of money, too.

So, I was thinking. I should search the fetish sites online and find a dentist who is also a sadist, and maybe we can work out a deal. We can exchange services! He can fix my gums, and I will let him hurt me for free. It's a win/win situation, right?

I know, you're thinking that any dentist could be a sadist and used to hurting people plus getting paid handsomely to do it. I mean, how can you know how much your dentist is enjoying the procedure? Maybe that's why he became a dentist?

So, to make it worth his while, too, I'd be willing to go the extra mile. Instead of keeping myself under control the whole time, I'll just scream and yell and cry, which is what I want to do at the dentist's anyway. I'm such a wienie! I'd even be willing to let him use some creepy old dental tools on me, if they're clean.

But if he gets something like this out, I'm outta there. I do have some standards...

Labels: dental, geek, movies, random

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Do remember this exchange from the movie Forrest Gump?

Lt. Dan: What's wrong with your lips?

Bubba: I was born with big gums, sir.

Lt. Dan: Yeah, well, you better tuck that in. Gonna get that caught on a trip wire.

After last month's gum graft, I'm feeling a lot like Private Bubba Blue. No one warned me that I would end up with a freaky-big chunk of gum tissue in front of my lower front teeth. I'd hoped this would be a temporary situation, and maybe the extra slab they sewed on would fall off having done its job. Unfortunately, the periodontist assures me that this is not just normal but is actually one of the better outcomes.

I asked if we could fix it, and he cringed (probably remembering what a baby I was about the original surgery) and told me that my only option is another procedure. Yeah, no thanks. He did promise to call me if someone develops a painless shrink ray, until then I'll just stick to tucking my lip in...

Labels: dental, movies

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  My laptop is dead again. It's on its way back to HP to get fixed again. I'm reduced to using the crappy desk top from back in the day. Again.

Grrr, technology is vexing me! I'm just going to take my family and go live in a cave. If you need me, send smoke signals.

To add to the fun, I have two dental appointments this week. One is my regular checkup, and I've learned the hard way not to skip those! (At least not for six years straight.) The other is the periodontist following my gum graft. Don't you wish you were me? Yeah, everyone does.

On a happy note, I'm going with a friend to see Twilight tomorrow night. Guess how many times this will be? I really probably need help...

Labels: computer, dental, Twilight

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  ...because I had a gum graft today, and I tell you that I'd rather have given birth. I thought THAT was a bad place to get stitches, but that was before I had these. New winner!

And, it's disgusting to boot, it just keeps oozing and oozing blood everywhere, which would be fine if I didn't have to taste it. I have no idea how vampires can stand this.

So, if you want to come look at the injuries (the stitched up area, or the top of my mouth where they took the tissue from) you MUST bring me a milkshake, and do your best to score me some narcotics. Otherwise just stay away, because I'm mighty grumpy.

>:-| I can't even frown, I just have to make a straight face with angry eyebrows.

Gotta run, need to spit...

Labels: can't blog, dental, vampires

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  Did you guys see that Roy Scheider died? My kids, Anya especially, are big Jaws fans, so it kind of feels like a member of the family has passed.

Something else passed this weekend, too. Tiernan, my baby (I know he's 6 1/2, he's still my baby) lost his first tooth.

I wanted to take a nice picture of Tiernan with his missing tooth for you, but he's learned to exploit the time between when I determine he's making a decent face, and when the digital camera actually takes the picture. So, they all look something like this:



Speaking of Jaws and my children's teeth, in yet another reminder that Maya and Sage are like SUPER twinny or something, they've both got the same tooth coming in on top of itself. They're a little bedheaddy in this shot, but I think you can see the tooth I'm talking about. The third tooth to the right on top is double, like I'm raising shark children.



Of course, we know from their dental x-rays that their teeth are freakishly similar, but it's not always so easy to tell as it is these days.

Hope you all are having a great Monday!

Labels: dental, kids, newsworthy

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  I still love Cube! I've been busy reading the book she sent me, and that's part of why I've been MIA.

We were extra thankful this year on Thanksgiving. We were rushing around and trying to get out the door on time, so we were a little frazzled when we hit the car. Then, we saw a nasty house fire! The house was completely destroyed, flames were shooting through the roof. Needless to say, we found our happy attitudes at that point!

I've also been playing a fair amount of Plant Tycoon. I've been cheating. Well, not really cheating, just not waiting very well. It's one of those "real time" games where the plants grow whether you're playing or not. So, I've been planting or pollenating, then dinking with the time on my computer to make them grow faster. Is that wrong?

I have a cleaning scheduled today at my dentist's office. Hopefully nothing too weird is going on. There's always something, it seems like.

Labels: dental, games, holiday, life, stephen king

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  I didn't have that stupid appointment yesterday after all! After I drove to the office, I found that they'd booked me at another office, across town, and they couldn't squeeze me in at either.

I was very nice about it, even though I was REALLY FRUSTRATED! I was nervous about going in the first place, and now I have to go back in a week. Hopefully I'll get to the correct office next Tuesday. [roll eyes]

I was trying to figure out if I had made the mistake or they did. I'm sure that I had some part in it, but I think it says a lot that the receptionist told me a few different times that they had this problem ALL THE TIME. Hmmm. Maybe they should do something about that, like letting people know which office they booked them into?

Anyway, I've got a lot to do today. I'm supposed to be at our homeschool group's Park Day, but I need to get supplies together and do some work for an art class I'm teaching tomorrow. Also, I need to shop because we're hosting the missionaries for dinner tonight. I love it when they come over, so I'm excited for that. And it's a good excuse to clean!

I'm loving the iPod, by the way. I moved over 2000 songs to it, and also created a big playlist of stuff I love to hear, and set it to shuffle. So, we're listening to "All Jen, All the Time" on the cool speakers Davin bought for me. Right now it's The Show Must Go On, from The Wall.

Have a cool day, and if you see me around tell me to get back to work!

Labels: dental, life, music

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  I know I am!

I have that consult today to determine if I need a gum graft. I like to know what to ask when I go in to talk to medical folks (or anybody, really) and so I surfed around looking for information on this procedure. I don't recommend it. First of all, DON'T do that unless you're really into looking at really gruesome photos. Like if extruded eyeballs aren't gross enough for you.

Secondly, the information is just not anything you actually want to know if it's a procedure that your dentist is pretty sure you need. I found a fellow blogger's account of her recovery, and it's not very comforting. I tried to leave a comment for her, but it wouldn't let me. I hope that's she's alive and well and fully recovered!

I wonder if they'll just put me completely under for a week or so? I'd probably lose a lot of weight that way, too! That would be excellent...

Labels: dental, hurl

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  I just wanted to update before our camping trip...my broken crown is on its way to being fixed. I have a temporary crown now, and there wasn't anything too creepy when he got in there.

He was a little concerned at one point, and he said, "Well, that's weird!" It ended up being nothing, but I gave him a little talking to. Well, it was less of a "talking to" and more of a "slurring at" because I was numb, but he agreed with me anyway. I told him that when you've got a patient who's already half crazed and having delusions that there are aliens in her teeth, you should NEVER exclaim that something's weird!

Instead, I said, he should just loudly say, "Wow, that's just DELIGHTFUL!" Then the hygienist would know that something is up, and the patient (me) wouldn't become overly freaked out. So, they did it! From that point on, they said things like, "We have to put some of this medicine on your gums. You'll probably find that it's very DELIGHTFUL, but we'll rinse it out soon," or "Sorry, I'll get that DELIGHTFUL piece of the crown off of your tongue for you." You should try it, it made the visit much more pleasant!

I go back on the 15th for the permanent crown, and I'm sure that visit will be DELIGHTFUL, too. I'll fill you in when I know more.

I'm off to finish packing, then I'm heading to bed and we'll be away until Sunday. See you then!

Labels: camping, dental

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  Today I am going to have them "fix" the broken crown I mentioned yesterday. Since the crown in only a few years old, the dentist thinks it will be a quick process, and that it will probably be free. Can't beat that!

My dentist is very cool. I never used to have dental issues, but I skipped going for 6 years and when I went back there were tons of problems. It got to the point where I'm just really nervous about going in to see them, not because of the pain because they're pretty good about that, but just because it seems like every single time I go in there it's just some freaky new thing that's wrong. But, as I said, my dentist is a pretty cool guy. He thinks I'm funny, which helps, and he is very understanding when I get upset.

I don't really get upset like you might be thinking. I never cry and carry on (well, there was that one time...) Usually I just get nervous and kind of sarcastic. For instance, when I went in to have them look at this stupid crown, I didn't want him to actually LOOK at it. I was worried that he would find something really bad, like cancer or a broken jaw, or alien inhabitation or something nasty like fly larvae living in there. After I explained my worries to him, and asked him if I could just write a check and leave, he was very kind to me. He did say that I was the third person this week to ask him if it was possible that aliens were interferring with their teeth, which makes me wonder what's going on around here?

So, according to the x-rays, this shouldn't be anything awful (they would see bot flies on the x-ray, right?) I'll try to pop back in later in the day and let you all know how it went. Pray for me?

Labels: dental, hurl

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  I have
-purchased a pop up and learned how to use it
-prepared for and testified in court
-held a book discussion on The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
-rented and filled a 15 cubic yard dumpster
-taken Tiernan to the University of Colorado to let their psych grad students experiment on him (it's not as bad as it sounds, they create developmental tests as part of their studies and ask for kids from the community to come in and work with them)
-attended a Chocolate Tasting
-broken a crown on one of my molars
-in unrelated dental news...scheduled a consult for a gum graft
-and all the usual, keeping the house clean, educating the kids, etc...

So, I've been a bad, bad blogger. And, I'll be a bad blogger again later this week, because we're taking said camper out for a spin and we'll be gone Thursday-Sunday.

But, I really wanted to get back in here before you all thought I was dead. Part of my problem blogging lately is that many things in my life seem big and dreadful right now. Not with my family, they're OK, just a lot of situations around us are just breaking my heart and it's been hard to blog. And, I'm sort of a lazy person on the whole, so inertia tends to get the best of me.

So, I promise I will be in here every day I'm home for a while, because I really miss my blog and all of you!

Hugs all around, and I'll start more in depth updates tomorrow...

Labels: books, camping, cleaning, dental, homeschooling, kids, life

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  Maya's presence is required today at a coronation ceremony! During this ceremony, a crown will be placed ever so carefully and expensively on the six year molar of Her Highness.

During the coronation, the new queen will be treated to the finest bottled airs and gases. Afterward, this former commoner has planned a trip to visit with another local member of royalty, where she and her entourage will partake of a meal consisting of the finest beef, potatoes and a frozen confection.

Labels: dental, kids

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